What Christmas has come to mean to me.......

I remember way back when , back to the times when Christmas had a meaning and it was full of laughter and fun. Ok, so maybe I was only a child who still believed in Santa Claus. Young enough to have imagined him not sliding down the chimney since we lived in a three decker in the city. But him using the magic key that my mother hung on the front door. I used to wait up and attempt to keep my eyes open until he arrived. I never did catch him. I remember all of the extended family going to my grandparents and just simply enjoying our time together. Laughing, Singing and exchanging gifts. People were poor back then and the gifts weren't extravagant. But the gifts were either bought or made with you in mind. Gifts given out of love. Oh how simple those times were. I remember having my first job as a teenager and the pure joy of being able to go out and buy gifts for others. Nobody expected them or demanded them. They were simple happy to receive something out of love and consideration. Then the days when my son was young. He loved Christmas the same way I did. Wide eyed and ready to go first thing in the morning. It was fun to buy for him back then. Thomas the Tank Engine , Barney and all the other great things he loved. They were cheap. I could afford them. He loved them.

Christmas to me this year and for a few years past have become demanding, stressful and highly overrated. The meaning of Christmas is highly distorted now a days. Most people are struggling to get by but are forced to steal from Peter to pay Paul only to borrow from Mary to buy gifts. Children are trying to keep up with their friends and now want high priced video systems, cell phones and other electronic devices. Then they get them and you don't see that light around them, any joy in their eyes. It has become about the price tag of things and keeping up with the Jone's. I would prefer handmade gifts if any. No gifts are fine too. (*EXCEPT FOR YOU KRISTEN). I know times are hard and people are struggling to feed their families and pay the bills. People are trying to keep afloat during this economic crisis. I GET IT.... I am right there with you ...........LOL

So Christmas 2008 has become exactly this for me. Stressful and overwhelming. I have decorated the house in the effort to find the Christmas spirit that I have lost. I have played the music and even hummed a tune. But it is a struggle to pretend I am excited about finding $$$ to buy gifts for people. Not because in most cases I have to. But I want to. I am a giver. I love to buy gifts for the important people in my life. I buy gifts with meaning and people know I have put the thought and effort into getting them something that means something. But this year I am handing out:

Gift wrapped boxes full of stress, debt, panic, anxiety and frustration. I am giving them with love and a sense of hope. I hope if I can pass them on and then you pass them on none of us will have to hold on to them long enough to let them bother us. These are gifts worth re gifting. At some point once a gift has been re gifted too many times it gets thrown away. So these are my gifts to you. Sorry to have to share them with you. Fill them up with your matching gifts and pass them on. Lets hope UPS loses these boxes and 2009 brings a fresh start.