Some of you are wondering what has taken me so long to update this blog. And as much as I love blogging and sharing my life with everyone, I have come to realize that I have to take the time to focus on me. While focusing on me I mean reading, writing, journaling and making some much needed changes in my life. There are so many changes happening to me personally and so many more to come. I will be letting go of some parts of my past and present and replacing them with new healthier things. People , places and things that are no longer a positive force in my life will slowly be removed. I have to take the time to put myself in a much more peaceful and healthier place. Sounds crazy but I have been on a journey emotionally lately and am now seeing things through clear glass and not the foggy ones I have always worn.
The first and most important change of 2009 is my new " Are you ready" lifestyle change. Each day I am learning more about the reasons and the ways I have always eaten. Ways that got me to the weight that I am today. This is far from my biggest but still far from my goal. I am working at it one day at a time and one pound at a time. This is not a race to the goal it is a learning experience that leads to the ultimate goal of a healthier lifestyle. I know people such as myself are looking for quick and speedy results. But with reading and educating myself I have learned that slow and steady win the race. It is not healthy to lose excessive amounts of weight in a short time. It will come back and bring friends. I have also learned to accept my failures in the past and to move forward. I no longer lie to myself and say I am doing my best when I clearly am not. So at this point I am 15 lbs down for the month of January and looking forward to more weight loss in February. This is my year and I am ready. Hopefully you are supporting me in this journey and if your not I know it is of no fault of mine. I am in this for me and in it to win it. GO ME !!!
Not much has really been going on in my life besides focusing on my weight loss and lifestyle change goals. Life has been pretty mellow and calming besides the common battles such as the lack of $$$, lack of love and the lack of medical care. I am hoping 2009 will turn around so that those issues can be resolved.
The Kid: He managed yet again to bring home a report card with all B's. This has been an amazing year for him academically. Emotionally he still has a lot to work on but for him each day is a learning experience too.
Love Life: None to speak of. I don't think I really mind all that much because I have to take care of me before I can put in the effort to take care of someone else. Like any human there are times I want the human touch and companionship but not enough to cry about it.
Work: Same ole drama different day. Nothing ever changes there but I have fun with my friends. The busy season is on its way so I will soon be working full time again and be able to catch up on the bills that are piling up.
Friends: Their all cool I guess. Some of them love me and accept me most of the time but hate when I tell them how I feel. I am honest and sometimes my buffer comes off. So be it. If anyone is going to tell you the truth it is much better to come from a friend who loves you and wants the best from you. I've had to hear my fair share of shit too. Get over it and move on. I love you all to death even if I am a bit of a bitch. I get to have an opinion even if it differs from yours. Thats what makes us different people and the person that we are.
I am patiently waiting for my taxes to come back so I can plan my May 2009 trip to Cancun. Come Hell or high water I am going. I need a break. All of my friends say " Oh, I wish I could afford to go". Well guess what people you couldn't afford it the last ten years and you can't afford it this year. But if you wait for the $$$ to grow on trees so that you can RELAX and RECHARGE you will be dead. I have to live while I am alive. I need to leave reality for a few days and take ME time. The bills will be there when I leave and more when I return. It will happen, they will get paid and I will be on the Hot Ass Sandy beach in CANCUN............LMFAO
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