Monday, October 1, 2007

Monday Madness

Well it is Monday and I am still alive. I guess that is a good thing. Things are going as best they can right now. Not much happening.

Looking forward to starting my new job. I need something new in my life something to switch things up a bit. I hope it all works out because I really want to stay local in the winter. Nothing worse than 290 traffic in the winter. Don't miss those days at all.

MOTIVATION oh, where has my motivation gone? I am stuck in a rut and don't know how to get out of it. I was talking to my friend Barbara and I was like, I know I don't need a man to feel special but I miss that part. I miss being told I am beautiful by a man. I have always done my own thing and never depended on a man but it DOES feel good to feel wanted and desired. It is motivating to look good for someone else. I just don't know how to get going again. Somebody give me some advice here will ya?

I REALLY miss a man's companionship. Watching tv, listening to the radio, waking up w/ him by my side. I miss so many things that I used to have. The problem was I had all that with a man who didn't deserve it. But I was without all of that for so long that now that I know what it feels like to have it I want it more. I want to share my world with someone else. I want him to share his w/ me too. I want to snuggle and be comforted. I want to have someone special to talk to. The feeeling of knowing he will be home or going to call is great when you are w/ the right someone. I truly miss it all.

Well, I was talking about Karma today and I was like I believe in it and I hope it starts coming around soon. I was having a weak I MISS MIKE moment last nite. Pathetic but true. I miss him sometimes. I hate to talk about him and I hate to wast energy on him but as he would say " It is what it is". I miss the man. I miss his smile and his corny little sayings. I miss the way I felt when he would look at me. But today Karma came around. Rumor has it he was arrested on an outstanding warrant. For what? That I do not know. But he gave the blond bimbo (the one he cheated w/) $500 to go get him a lawyer. Well she never did and he is still in jail. I feel bad for his kid but the guy deserves it. I hope he has time to think about what he has done to me and that Karma truly is a bitch. He had it good w/ me and I would have been right by his side. Not anymore. He chose and he chose badly. He just wasn't the man he portrayed himself to be. He was hiding behind so many lies and they have finally caught up w/ him. No wonder he was always having chest pains and anxiety attacks. He knew he was a scam artist and now he is paying the price.

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