Its amazing how one day you can be made to feel gorgeous and on top of the world and the next day be torn down like an old abandoned mill. Saturday night I went to Hillcrest and was told over and over again how beautiful I looked. I couldnt have felt any better about myself. Then Sunday that feeling was gone. He was gone. My smile was gone. I want to feel beautiful again and worth something again.Somehow and for some unknown reason I was robbed of my smile on Sunday. Silently and without any just cause. The music in me died. My laughter is gone. There is silence and numbness. There is a hole in my heart.I trusted hima dn allowed myself to open up. I shared my life w/ him and he chose to only share half of his. NOt the double side where he was a liar and had someone else. Not the side that was heartless and cold.I mean where did this dumpster of a lady come from? Six weeks there was no sign when I slept over. He always answered when I called. Now the house phone has been unplugged and she answers the phone. She is the one there all the time. Was she there the whole time and I was kept in the dark?I just got home from work and UPS finally decided to drop off the birthday present I had bought for him. Bought for him because I knew he would so enjoy it. I was a thoughtful person to him. I will keep it hidden in the box in a closet so that I won't have to be reminded of what was supposed to be.